Who was Cassandra?
In the Iliad, she is described as the loveliest of the daughters
of Priam (King of Troy), and gifted with prophecy. The god Apollo
loved her, but she spurned him. As a punishment, he decreed
that no one would ever believe her. So when she told her fellow
Trojans that the Greeks were hiding inside the wooden horse...well,
you know what happened.
the cassandra pages
words, pictures, and a life
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Thanks for checking how my comments are working - and it's been nice to hear from some non-regular-commentators. Doc Rock just asked how my book project was coming, and I appreciated that, so I thought I'd give you all an update.
After the month in Canada when nothing much got written, the book is moving forward now, slowly and steadily. I wish I could write it faster, but I can't, and obviously there has been a lot going on in my life lately. Right now I'm completing the first draft of the chapter on the NH election, and will be moving on next to the General Convention of the Episcopal Church that approved the election of Bishop Robinson - and the firestorm that unleashed. I'm trying to tell the story through the real people who contributed to it, rather than simply reporting the facts - which is also the best way to maintain my own interest. The interviews I've done have been fascinating and the people very generous with their time and ideas. I'm working right now with a decision about how much of "myself" to put in. J., my best critic, says the writing is the best and most interesting when I do my observational thing and allow myself to have a point of view, as someone who was close to the process and has a lot of knowledge and experience of the Church and of thinking about religion and life, both inside and outside the formal structure.
"People may not agree with you," he says, "but they'll respect you and see that you are fair."
I don't think the book wants a constant or intrusive "I", but I do think he's right that the writing is stronger and much more interesting when there is descriptive interest and personal observation of people and events beyond straight journalistic reportage. Figuring out the overall tone is part of what I'm going through at the moment, but it seems to be kind of emerging naturally. Having said that, the project is far bigger than I originally thought, and I am constantly struggling against feeling overwhelmed. The outline is solid, the material is good, and I just have to chip away at it. These past two weeks have been productive, so I feel encouraged.
Another interview with the Bishop on Tuesday, and I'm lining up others as well. Anybody you want to hear from? Ideas? Questions?
Friday, June 25, 2004
NOTE Since I upgraded my HaloScan service a few days ago, one reader has written to say he's having constant problems accessing the comments box. Has anyone else been having problems? I checked the HaloScan support threads, and all I can find is that you must have Javascript enabled, and this blog needs to be exempted if you have software to block pop-ups. I'd appreciate hearing if others are experiencing the same thin, or if anybody else has dealt with this problem.
9:25 AM
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
It's a hot afternoon here, starting to get humid. We seem to be into our typical summer weather pattern: clear, beautifully fresh days of high pressure, with billowing clouds - imagine a New England postcard with cows and a red barn in the foreground, and you'll have it just about right - slowly giving way to increasing humidity and haze, with clouds that pile up higher and higher into thunderheads. Then, usually in the afternoon, a mounting wind turns the maple leaves upside down, and eventually crashes into a full-fledged thunderstorm. I feel like a bird in the backyard, so attuned am I to this pattern, and to the attendant water needs of my plants.
Right now there are no clouds, though, just an indistinct haze. The tops of the tall maples above the river on, yes, Maple Street, are tossing pretty hard but we're far from anything dramatic happening. J. just opened a front window and there's a welcome breeze blowing past the big rosemary plant on the windowsill and filling this room with that scent. Just down the street, Helen's catalpa is in full, spectacular bloom. School is out. At the store today, I watched a young boy shopping for summer clothes with his mother, and I sensed in his relaxed happiness that long-ago feeling of summer just beginning, opening out into a nearly endless freedom that wouldn't begin to close up until late August, when the weather changed again.
5:33 PM
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004 NEW YORK, FRANKLIN STREET STATION
We've been experiencing some attrition lately in Blogworld: first CommonBeauty, then Denny at Book of Life, and now even Butuki is considering calling it quits. As I told Denny, while I respect his decision totally, I will miss him and his writing a great deal. It's not as though I take blogwriters for granted, but you do become accustomed to checking in, as if on a morning walk, and seeing what your favorite writers have written and how they're doing. Silence and absence are very hard to get used to.
Both Denny and Butuki speak about wanting to work on "real" work - books they're writing, for example. This is what I wrote to Butuki today:
"I keep wondering why people keep saying “other work” is more important, in effect putting down blogging as a less valuable activity. Maybe it's because I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and writing about spirituality and different concepts of “ministry”. But it is quite clear to me that what many of us are doing IS important, perhaps vitally important, by providing a more or less daily lifeline of conversation about meaningful topics, or a quiet place of reflection, or a sense of kinship across time and space to other individuals. The fact that we cannot see or feel or measure the true impact we may be having on one another’s lives heightens my belief that this IS the sort of selflessness that really matters in our world. I could collect my blog posts and compile a book, or I could finish the one I am supposedly writing - and I hope I will do those things. But I don’t see them as any more satisfying or worthwhile than writing here. What that would do is gratify my ego, possibly help or interest some other people, and maybe - this is a very long shot - make me some money. But the big thing is that I could “see” the accomplishment, show it, talk about it. I am suspicious of these motives, frankly, but perhaps that is just that I’ve been on this spiritual materialism kick for a long time and it makes me examine my desires relentlessly."
Another point I am well aware of is that I'm writing from the perspective of nearly 52 years. On the one hand, I feel the clock ticking, and I hope I will be able to complete some projects over the next decade or two. But my feelings about "accomplishment" now are markedly different than they were when I was thirty, or even forty. An old, close friend, someone my age, wrote a while ago and reminded me that the chances of one of us writing the great novel or composing an enduring opera are miniscule: the Mozarts and Joyces of this world are very rare, as is that sort of immortality. I might write a really good book, and chances are that it will be forgotten in a matter of years, if that. What really matters - what makes us remembered and what makes our lives really meaningful - is whether we are loving people, to those close to us, and to the environment (social, physical, however you want to define it) that is nearest, and that we have a chance to affect. As my husband said once, as we left a memorial service: "In the end, all that anyone really cares about is whether you were a good person."
There is no way I can claim that my life is any more meaningful - just because it has "public" aspects - than that of a parent who lives and dies totally anonymously, but gives his child a sense of wonder and security and purpose, or a woman who cares lovingly for her family, throughout a lifetime, in obscurity. I do think it is important to figure out what we find fulfilling, though, and go toward that, because inside that "message", that deep attraction of the soul, we can discover a way to grow toward who we are truly meant to be. If things we are doing feel wrong or out of balance, then it's time to step back and reassess. It's also good to remember that we generally find time to do what is most important to us; these days I write here more regularly than I work on "other" writing - and I need to admit to myself that that's not an excuse, that's my preference. Someday, of course, that may change.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004 THIS WAY, HOLLAND TUNNEL/NEW JERSEY
Loathe to do anything to interrupt the flow of opinions in the current comment threads (what would happen, I wonder, if there were NO character limit at all?) I'm going to give some suggestions for reading, in case you need more!
"THEY'RE REFUGEES FROM AFGHANISTAN" From today's BBC, a survey on what British school kids really know about the Palestinians (and you thought only Americans were poorly informed!) (Thanks, J.!)
ABU GHRAIB, USA From The Progressive, an article by Anne-Marie Cusac on systematic abuse in the American prison system:
I've been reporting on abuse and mistreatment in our nation's jails and prisons for the last eight years. What I have found is widespread disregard for human rights. Sadism, in some locations, is casual and almost routine.
Reporters and commentators keep asking, how could this happen? My question is, why are we surprised when many of these same practices are occurring at home?
For one thing, the photos of prison abuse in the United States have not received nearly the attention that the Abu Ghraib photos did. And maybe we have so dehumanized U.S. prisoners that we have become as distant from them as we are from foreign captives in faraway lands.
"HAS ANYBODY HERE SEEN MY OLD FRIEND GOD?" This one will at least make you laugh. A brilliantly (at least I thought so) satirical look at the co-opting of "God" by Bush and the religious right, by Sheila Samples in The Smirking Chimp.
As a Christian, I cannot come to grips with the premise that God got us into this mess -- that God is the shadowy figure behind the throne, whispering into Bush's ear to dishonor our nation, disgrace our armed forces and destroy tens of thousands of innocent people. Only a tyrant storms in and out of the affairs of common men, robs them of their way of life, of hope, of free thought -- and randomly and maliciously tortures, even slaughters, those who dare oppose him. Only a tyrant who, as Aristotle wisely noted, "must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion." Aristotle also pointed out that "Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious..." (Thanks to Dave Steele for these last two.)
I'm enormously appreciative of the reflectiveness and high quality of the comments being made here about individual responsibility and government. Joerg's comment, today, added a very important dimension to the discussion that has been lacking - a foreign perspective. It's especially pertinent here because he is German. If you are a foreign reader living abroad, or living here, I want to encourage you to tell us how these issues and this discussion feel to you.
For my part, I am dismayed that people of intelligence decide not to vote. It is, as Chris said, such a simple thing to do, and if more of us did it, it would make a difference. I was taught, growing up, that if I didn't exercise my option to participate in any system of which I was a part - the family, the school, the community, the country, the world - I forfeited my right to complain about it. In my family, everybody was active in the organizations and community they lived in, and it would have been unthinkable not to vote. People who come from dictatorial countries cannot imagine the freedom of expression we have here, and even though those freedoms are under attack, we still have them and it is vital that we use them. A major part of the problem is that people in this country are becoming more and more passive. (Dave touched on the reasons for this in an early comment; I'll take it up later this week because I have a good story about what can happen when people move out of that passivity and take responsibility for themselves.)
Not long ago, I talked to a woman who had immigrated to the U.S. from the Balkans. She agreed with the political position I was stating, but was frightened at public expressions of opposition to foreign policy. She warned me to be careful. Her deep paranoia reminded me of my readings about Stalinist Russia. In spite of my reassurances that I was all right and that this sort of individual expression (pretty mild, in my case) is not only tolerated but protected in America, she couldn't be convinced. I found this very enlightening. It also showed me how important it is to protect our freedoms by exercising them.
